Our national anthem: in the interest of saving time and reducing sheet music costs, I'd probably just take another country's national anthem and edit the lyrics so my new country's name replaces theirs. I suppose for this purpose it would make sense to pick a country which doesn't have a military. Other than that I don't really have strong feelings about this.
Our national motto: "Comfortable clothes and profit without risk."
Our national fish: the spicy tuna. I have ordered many of these in sushi restaurants and like them a lot.
Our national form of government: it would be what I like to call a "crapocracy." I don't believe that requires, or indeed merits, any further explanation.
Our national bird: for this purpose I would select a bird which is commonly eaten in our weakest neighboring country. That way I could accuse them of desecrating one of the sacred symbols of my country and wipe them off the f***ing map.