Russell Brunelle (russellb) wrote,
Russell Brunelle

My latest movie pitch

I realize that it's "traditional" to let a few years go by between a film and its remake, but in light of postmodernism I see no more need to respect that tradition than I do any other tradition which also makes sense.

As such, I propose that a remake be made (and ideally be released) of "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" WHILE THE ORIGINAL IS STILL IN THEATERS!

In my remake, the clay soldiers would be revived by the emperor not to serve as a military force, but rather as a labor force.The rest of the film (all two-and-a-half hours worth) would then become a courtroom drama, with both Liam Neeson AND Alec Baldwin solemnly arguing before the WTO that the use of dead employees who require no compensation abridges core principles of free trade: in other words, the lack of "life" in the mummy call center amounts to a state subsidy which disadvantages all the WTO members which are NOT in a position to create armies of clay mummies.

The key to pulling this off would be for the courtroom arguments concerning the WTO to be delivered with the ultimate in passion and sincerity, which is why the film needs Alec Baldwin.

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