Russell Brunelle (russellb) wrote,
Russell Brunelle

Last night...

So, last night around 3am, the lady in the motel room above mine seemed to have a difference of opinion with her "gentleman caller" (I think that's the Southern term for a boyfriend). This escalated to him apparently locking her out, after which I was treated to her screaming "Open the g***amn door!" over and over, varying only slightly in choice of emphasis or expletive, for the next half hour.

At one point, since obviously this was too fascinating and/or loud to sleep through, I found myself wondering how this whole scene might have played out at Oxford amongst debaters.

RESOLUTION: "Resolved: That this motel room door should be opened by its gentleman occupant."

SPEECH 1, AFFIRMATIVE CONSTRUCTIVE: "You should open the door because if you do not I will just stand out here yelling anyway."

SPEECH 2, NEGATIVE CONSTRUCTIVE: "Your mental stability is uncertain and I no longer desire your company."

SPEECH 3, FIRST NEGATIVE REBUTTAL: "The point is moot that you will just stand outside the door and keep yelling, since I believe that if I let you in you would simply keep yelling, plus then you would be able to poke me or break things."


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