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A blast from the past... - Russell Brunelle [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Russell Brunelle

A blast from the past... [May. 28th, 2011|12:09 am]
Russell Brunelle
I spent some time this evening organizing old files, and came across something I wrote a long time ago which I still find pretty amusing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you what might have been said if Saddam Hussein had taken a Landmark Education class just before being ousted in 2003:

  • "I stand for the possibility of killing everything I see."
  • "My G-series nerve gas is a powerful technology for personal transformation."
  • "You say that I killed 300,000 Iranians? I say this is your story about what happened, and that concepts such as `pointless slaughter' live in a conversation."
  • "Torturing my political opponents gives me the freedom to be at ease no matter what the circumstance, and opens a world of possibility."
  • "I invite you to consider whether your desire for `world peace' and `justice' is your Racket, or your Winning Formula."
  • "Your security council resolutions are Empty and Meaningless, and by ignoring them I may remain at choice with the world."
  • "In ejecting the UN inspectors, I invite you to consider what you don't know, as well as what you don't know you don't know."
  • "During their interviews with your inspectors, my scientists may require periodic coaching to remain powerfully engaged with the world."
  • "Setting oil wells ablaze, and dumping millions of gallons of oil into the Persian Gulf, are an invitation for the environmental movement to step beyond its comfort zone. Saying this `shouldn't be' prevents environmentalists from appreciating the Extraordinary."
  • "Just as human consciousness lives in a conversation, and language brings the world into being, so I kill people who criticize me."
  • "No, you may not go to the bathroom. In fact, come to think of it, if you go to the bathroom I will kill your entire family."
  • "Interior Minister Mahmoud Dhiab al-Ahmed, I stand for the possibility of your taking The Forum. No? So you would prefer a cattle prod to the genitals, then? You would not? Now you would like to take The Forum? Then Minister, I thank you for giving me this opportunity to share the Forum."