Russell Brunelle (russellb) wrote,
Russell Brunelle

How to annoy Wesley Snipes in prison

Martial artist Wesley Snipes, who starred in the popular "Blade" series of vampire movies, has been in prison since December 9. For those unfamiliar with the situation, it seems Mr. Snipes fell in with some tax protester nut jobs and conspiracy theorists, who thought repeatedly sending the IRS a bunch of gibberish (and fraudulent bills of exchange) in place of actually paying taxes was a good idea.

Should you find yourself employed as a guard at the Pennsylvania federal prison where Mr. Snipes is incarcerated, here are a few ways to annoy him:

  1. "OK, it's time for your hour out in the yard, daywalker."
  2. "I've been hearing dark rumors of a hybrid between the tax protester and the lycan."
  3. "Hey Wesley, I guess the tax protesters were right after all: you really are a 'secured party'!"
  4. "We've got to get you out of here! Kate Beckinsale can't handle all the vampires on her own!"
  5. [said outside cell so Mr. Snipes can overhear] "Hey Bob, did you finish your tax return? Sure did, got it done last night: the form was easy to fill out, and the amount I had to pay was actually quite reasonable. Anyway, it's a beautiful day, and it sure is great to be free!"
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